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There once was a man, mentally compromised,
Impersonated on TV, criticized,
The comedian knew,
His jokes were true,
On “Saturday Night Live” he despised.

A fact-checker named Daniel Dale,
Said “It objectively does not” prevail,
The claim that the president made,
Was false, he conveyed,
In truth, it was an epic fail.

There once was a preacher so grand,
Whose secrets were spread through the land,
Encounters with dames,
Brought down his fame,
Now his ministry’s fate is unplanned.

There once was a billionaire so grand,
Used a chainsaw with quite a heavy hand,
At CPAC in February,
Lacked empathy, he feared,
His actions left many unmanned.

There once was a tool ICEBlock
On CNN it caused quite a shock
Amid Trump’s hard stance
It got folks to dance
For immigration, a key to unlock

There once was a grad with a plan,
To murder four students began,
With a knife in his hand,
Charged with first-degree, grand,
Justice now seeks out this man.

A young man named Wess Roley was found,
With a gun, lying dead on the ground.
After hours on the attack,
Investigators say back,
He acted alone, truth has been found.

There once was a president bold,
Whose scents were worth more than gold,
At an exorbitant rate,
He unveiled a new crate,
For the rich, his fragrances were sold.

There once was a memo that led,
The Civil Division to dread,
Denaturalization’s call,
A focus above all,
Their duties to carefully thread.

There once were two friends who renewed
Their feud, on social media, they spewed
Their anger and hate
But alas, it’s too late
Their friendship forever subdued.