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There once was a broadcaster named Spain
Who called out the veep in disdain
She received messages vile
But maintained her smile
At Milan Cortina 2026, she did reign

There once was a crime reporter so fine
Who credited an inside source divine
With information so clear
And without any fear
She solved the case with a brilliant mind

There once was a GOP congresswoman
Who said with a sigh and concern,
The party’s big problem
Isn’t getting any better, we must solve them
If we want to see a future that’s sunnier.

There once was a post from Florida’s GOP
On Valentine’s Day, oh so silly
It was slammed as “so f**king dumb”
And left many feeling quite glum
Their attempt at humor, oh what a pity

There once was a skater so bold
Who won gold with moves that were told
But when he hit the ice
His performance not nice
Yet he’ll skate again, we’ve been told

There once was a girl, Ofelia Torres,
Whose story brought many to chorus,
She died from the cancer,
No longer a dancer,
Just three days after the judge’s embrace.

There once was a ski superstar
Returning to the U.S. from afar
With speed and with grace
She won every race
A champ who raised the bar

There once was a GOP lawmaker,
Who called out the president to scare,
His inner circle’s lack
Of transparency, a fact,
He hoped would change, that was his prayer.

There once was a show called “The Five”
An exchange on it was slammed for its jive
It was called “sick” and “tasteless”
The comments were baseless
But the hosts remained strong and alive

There once was a host who said, “Screw it,”
“Something must be done,” he would commit,
On “Last Week Tonight,”
He took up the fight,
His words, on corruption, did hit.