There once was a sheriff named Nanos,
Whose statements were far from the truth, oh!
When asked about a case,
He fell flat on his face,
Now he’s stuck in a critical throes.
There once was a star Republican Fine,
Who called out Bad Bunny’s design,
His “woke garbage” rant,
Made the crowd chant,
A mic-drop moment so divine.
There once was an activist so bold
Who planned with women so brilliant and bold
To kneel before the president
In a move so incandescent
Their message, they hoped, would take hold.
There once was a skater named France
Whose victory caused quite a dance
With Guillaume by her side
A petition was tried
Signed by thousands in quite a stance.
There once was a host who would play
To give Trump what he wanted, he’d say
But in the worst possible way
Late night banter, with glee
His jokes were as harsh as they may
The American men’s team in a mile,
Opened their Olympics with style,
They hit the ice,
Skating precise,
Their performance sure made us smile.
There once was a snowboarder, so great,
Who faced a young girl with much fate.
At Milan Cortina she fell,
As Choi rang the victory bell,
And history’s door closed on that date.
There once was a girl in grim strait,
To the hospital she met her fate,
In critical condition,
But her mom’s exposition,
Brought hope to the dire state.
Parents panicked, feeling quite fraught,
As school districts said they had caught
Rumors about Lifetouch,
Causing quite a touch,
Investigation now sought.
There once was a man from the club,
Who got mad and started a hubbub,
He struck his foe in the face,
And then on the ground gave chase,
‘Til others joined in with a shrug.