There once was a CNN anchor brave,
To the president’s slam, she gave a wave,
During press briefing time,
She responded in rhyme,
Showing poise and the will to save.
There once was an incident, they say,
Along the Willimantic River that day,
In Mansfield it occurred,
At 9:30, I’ve heard,
Not far from UConn, they did convey.
There once was a can of juice so great,
Frozen concentrate, a beloved fate.
Its cylindrical shape,
Now gone without a gape,
Memories of its taste we will sate.
There once was a data chief so clever
Who foresaw the Dems’ chance to be clever
With a warning in store
That the GOP might fall through the floor
In the House, they’d have to endeavor
There once was a Fox News host so wild,
Defending attacks, he was riled,
On CNN’s Kaitlan Collins,
With reasoning quite baffling,
His justifications left us beguiled.
There once were ski jumpers, it’s true,
Who injected their penises, who knew?
Before the Olympics, they’d prep,
With a shot in their schlep,
Causing quite the scandal to brew.
There once was a skier so keen
Tore her ACL in a crash that was mean
But she’s back with a smile
To race in great style
In the women’s downhill, she’s a machine
There once was a singer who’d say
“Up, Up and Away” every day,
With “Stoned Soul Picnic” in sight,
And “Aquarius” so bright,
Her Grammy-winning voice led the way.
There once was a bird on thin ice,
A rescue was needed, how nice!
The fireman came quick,
It was quite a slick trick,
The bird was saved in a trice.
Authorities still in pursuit
Of a suspect, to determine the root
Ransom notes were sent
Investigation intent
Media outlets received the loot