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There once was a pundit so stern,
Who praised Trump’s address with a burn,
Bashing immigrants’ kin,
With a sardonic grin,
In limericks, his views did he churn.

There once was a gold medalist cap
Whom Travis Kelce gave a tip tap
Both from Ohio city
With football star brotherly
Their ties in the same city map

There once was a poll that did show,
Before Trump’s speech we all know,
His health and his mind,
Were scrutinized to find,
If he’s fit to lead and to grow.

There once was a case against Greenpeace
For trespass and causing a cease
The jury found them liable
For actions quite undeniable
A verdict that did not bring them peace

There once was a strategist, so bold,
Who tore into Trump, so we’re told.
For over six minutes,
He shared his bold limits,
Predicting Trump’s future, behold!

There once were some people, so shy
Who to cues from their friends would rely
They lacked the courage to speak
With their confidence weak
Vance noticed, and couldn’t deny

There once was a man named Robert,
On Bravo his struggles were covered,
On “The Real Housewives” show,
His addiction did grow,
But he faced it, no longer smothered.

There once was a CNN data guru
Who spotted a sign quite askew
As he broke down the polls
Of Democratic rolls
In a race that’s not easy to construe

There once was a rapper so witty
Who visited Swansea, so pretty
With towels of white twirling
The fans were unfurling
A guard of honor, oh what a pity

There once was a man who did
Whatever he could just to bid
He was sly and oh so quick
Never missing a trick
Of course he did, that sneaky old kid.