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There once was a senator named Kelly
Who said, “Arrogance is too smelly
It’s how America’s stuck
In wars that are bloody, yuck!
Let’s end them before we get jelly.”

There once were Air Force divers so brave,
Used drones to search under the waves.
They found a lost soul,
Made the ocean their goal,
Thanks to them, now peacefully laid.

There once was a man with a point
But many just chose to disjoint
They didn’t understand
Or chose to pretend
Their ignorance they did anoint

There’s a man who on Infowars did appear,
Claiming his shirt was the reason to fear,
“Just because you wear mine,
Doesn’t make us entwined,”
Said the conspiracy monger so sincere.

There once were some officials so bold,
Bakari Sellers and Rupar, we’re told.
Their cheeky remarks,
Lit up the dark,
With sentiments funny and gold.

There once was a Science Guy so sage,
Who warned of a troublesome stage,
White House budget proposal,
For space agency, not wholesome,
Serious trouble could be the next page.

There once was a man from Gilgo,
Who confessed to murders in tow,
He told his ex-wife,
Where he took their life,
Now his guilt everyone does know.

There once was a coach from New England
Whose love life caused quite a commotion
Photos with Dianna Russini
Caused a scandal so teeny
But difficult talks he did mention

There once was a dad who did stray,
Van Jones wanted it ended that day,
Weird stuff was afoot,
He wanted a hush,
To stop this, he had much to say.

There once was a balloon in the sky,
Thirteen folks were flying up high,
But the landing was smooth,
On a small plot of grass, a good groove,
No one was hurt, oh me, oh my!