There once was a man named Tyler Robinson
Prosecutors sought the death penalty to stun
If convicted in the shooting
Of a conservative activist he was prosecuting
His fate now hangs in the balance, a loaded gun
There once was a company so bold,
Removed LGBTQ+ flags, we’re told.
Patrons were stunned,
Their decision shunned,
Their actions left hearts feeling cold.
There once was a study, quite shady,
Said the health secretary, “It’s crazy!”
Pregnant women beware,
Of this painkiller scare,
Retract it, the study is lazy.
There once was a star named Portman,
Grateful for her life so awesome,
She knew it was a privilege rare,
A miracle beyond compare,
In her heart, thanks never forgotten.
There once was an airline named Kiwi
With bunk beds stacked three tiers high
But rules must be obeyed
For a comfortable stay
On Air New Zealand you can lie.
There once was a plan so disjointed,
Future 420 celebrations, anointed,
If the Iran war endures,
Peace may seem obscure,
And the joy of smoking, disappointed.
There once was a Rep from Cali,
Whose words were never quite shy.
Kamlager-Dove,
Spoke with power and love,
In Sacramento, she did apply.
There once was a president who,
Had a grasp on time that was askew,
In Las Vegas he came,
And he seemed rather lame,
With his schedule all out of the blue.
There once was a girl named Jessica,
Who flipped the president’s rhetoric,
She twisted his rant,
Into her own chant,
And showed her political magic.
There once was a Fox News host so bold,
Who sent a message to the pontiff, we’re told.
But the critics, they said,
“That’s just full of dread!”
And their disapproval, they fiercely scrolled.