OMG: Stephen Colbert Flames Trump With Absolutely Unholy Takedown

There once was a Late Show host in a rage,
Mocking the president on the stage,
For an AI Jesus pose,
That made everyone froze,
With his clever and humorous engage.

Singer D4vd Arrested In Connection With The Murder Of Celeste Rivas Hernandez: LAPD

A teen’s remains found in a car,
Linked to a singer, bizarre.
Mystery in the air,
Investigation’s to declare,
In the fall, it left a scar.

Jimmy Kimmel Nails Trump With Damning Damage-Control Supercut Video

A late-night host made a good joke,
Saying the president began to choke,
With tap-dancing so fine,
After words about the divine,
The pope’s views left him broke.

OpenAI Exec’s Alleged Attacker Suggested ‘Luigi’ing’ Tech CEOs In Online Chat: Report

There once was a suspect who threw
A Molotov cocktail, it’s true
Referencing a killer
On Discord, oh thriller
Now awaiting what justice will do.

ICE Agent Charged With Assault For Pointing Gun At Minnesota Driver

There is no such thing as immunity
For agents who break the law with impunity
In Minnesota they’ll pay
What Mary Moriarty does say
No free pass for those who act so crudely

Architecture Critic Who Pushed Trump To Build Triumphal Arch Has 1 Massive Note

There once was a man named Catesby
Who urged Trump to build a grand display
Changes in the project he did not foresee
A triumphal arch was his plea
But now things have gone astray

Marjorie Taylor Greene Condemns Evangelical Leader’s Defense Of Trump’s AI Jesus Post

There once was a preacher quite sage,
Who said the president’s not on that page.
Jesus Christ he’s not,
That’s a mistaken plot,
Franklin Graham did calmly engage.

‘We Nearly Hit Them’: Video Shows Trucks Cross American Airlines Plane’s Path, Panicking Pilot

There once was a plane in the sky,
In New York it did sadly collide.
With a truck on the ground,
A tragic scene was found,
In Charlotte, a similar fate did lie.

Hegseth Blasts ‘Garbage’ War Coverage, Compares Reporters To Pharisees Who Judged Jesus

There once was a defense secretary
Who sought positivity, if you please
He couldn’t quite tell
Which side some did dwell
In Trump’s realm, a puzzle to see

CNN Host Schools Catholic Panelist Using 1 Holy Takedown Of Vance’s Pope Talk

There once was a gal named Abby Phillip,
Who hit a columnist with quip
Straight from the Church,
In a verbal lurch,
Defending the veep with a zip.

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