There once was a security czar,
Who pondered if the machines would go far;
He asked Commerce to declare,
The components with great care,
As national security stars.
Property can be replaced, that’s true,
Said the safety officer, in the view.
But lives cannot be restored,
So safety must be adored,
In all that we do, through and through.
Lee Mendelson Films sued with great might,
Claiming music use was not right,
Vince Guaraldi’s tunes
Were played by buffoons,
In court, they would surely fight.
There once was an AG so bold
Who said Jan. 6 rioters won’t fold
He claimed they’d get paid
For the harm that they made
But their actions, the truth will unfold.
There once was a land being sued
Where owners claimed they’d exclude
To be accepted, you see
Applicants must be
White, they said, to be wooed
There once was a host named Finnerty,
Asked Comer if Cuba’s a threat, you see.
With a chuckle and grin,
Comer said with a spin,
“We must stay vigilant, that’s the key.”
There once was a mom named Erin Merdy
Who drowned her kids in the sea so dirty
She’ll spend twenty years
In a cell filled with tears
For a crime that was truly unworthy
There once was a dad quite fickle
Who said his kid’s wedding was no tickle
He told the nation
With no hesitation
That the date did not suit his pickle
There once was a host of “Daily Show”
Who found something stunning to know
The administration’s creation
Of a billion fund’s revelation
Left him shocked, feeling quite low
A passenger from Congo in flight,
Boarded in Paris with no fright,
In error, he claimed,
Amid restrictions he aimed,
Ebola outbreak causing a plight.