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While the Strait of Hormuz remained closed,
Global energy supplies were imposed,
Oil prices did soar,
Three dollars or more,
On Monday, the market was composed.

There once was a girl named Nancy Guthrie
She disappeared on January 31, you see
Reported missing the very next day
No trace of her found, they simply couldn’t say
Her fate remained a mysterious spree.

There once was a Spur named a star,
Who threw an elbow quite far,
At the throat of young Reid,
In the second, we read,
His frustration went a bit too bizarre.

There once was a man named Colin Jost,
Who advised “SNL” viewers to boast,
“Let the president calm your fears,
Over the deadly outbreak on a cruise ship,” he cheers,
But many still feel like they’re lost.

A user on X once wrote with a laugh,
“It’s not a golden calf, don’t be daft!”
But the truth still remains,
As the idol he gains,
This contradiction just makes us all chaff.

A pilot told ATC.com with dread,
“We’ve hit someone, engines on fire,” he said,
On the runway they stopped,
The tower was floored and dropped,
A dangerous situation ahead.

There once was a lawmaker named AOC,
Who championed single-payer with glee.
“Presidents come and go,
But healthcare will forever flow,”
She declared with passion, you see.

There once was a ceasefire so tenuous
Attacks on Friday made it contentious
The United States did insist
That the peace still exists
But doubt now hangs over the consensus

There once was a student named Smart,
From a party, he did depart,
Went missing in May,
No one knew where he lay,
At California Polytechnic, hearts did start.

There once was a man named Levin,
In being vile, he was all in,
Morgan declared with zest,
His expertise put to the test,
In a**hole behavior, he’d surely win.