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There once was a host of “Daily Show”
Who blasted the president, you know
For bizarre comments he made
After Graham’s death, he laid
Out his anger, letting it show

There once was a star from “The Studio”,
Whose backhanded well-wishes did flow,
To a Kentucky senator,
In a tone somewhat sinister,
But the meaning was hard to bestow.

There once was a man named Nolan Wells,
Who went on a boat trip with yells,
Found dead on Fourth of July,
Activists now ask why,
Injustice in the story it tells.

There once was a man named Graham
Who received a tribute quite strange
In a weirder way, they did say
To honor him in such a display
Lindsey’s tribute was truly deranged

There once was a president bold,
Who said Iran would be hit “very hard.”
At his direction, strikes began to unfold,
By U.S. Central Command they were told.
On Iran, Trump’s wrath was unbarred.

There once was a man named Jayden Adams
Found dead in Cape Town’s vast lands
He had helped his team win
But his life was cut thin
Leaving behind many saddened bands

There once was a congresswoman from Maine,
Who faced critics with disdain,
They reminded her quick,
Of her standing with a kick,
South Carolina voters to her campaign.

There once was a rise in oil rates,
After attacks caused some debates,
In the Middle East,
They rose the least,
And now we’re all checking our states.

There once was a strategist so wise
Who told Democrats to be wise
“Get good lawyers!” he said
In case Republicans shed
Their morals and pull a surprise

There once was a CEO named Dave,
Whose ambitions were bold and brave.
But a lawsuit arose,
And now I suppose,
His dreams may end in a watery grave.