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There once was a man named Doug Burgum
Who defended a club that was glum
Neo-fascist they were
To speak freely they sure
Exercise speech rights, he did implore

There once was a coach from Egypt
Who waved a flag without regret
After a win quite grand
With flag in hand
Showing support for Palestine, a safe bet

There once was a girl named Kelly,
Who found things to be a bit smelly,
She said, “It’s so on the nose,
In terms of attention, it glows,
Just so gauche, it’s making me jelly.”

There once was a man with great flair,
Who said “Communism? I don’t care!
To lose in midterms,
We must all be dimwits,
Foolish, stupid, and unprepared.”

The Declaration was signed with great praise
A historic and democratic blaze
It’s celebrated today
In numerous display
As we honor its revolutionary days

There once was a woman named Emily
Who made a strange claim so grimly
She smeared the Senate candidate
In a manner so irate
With allegations truly bizarre and timely

There once was a president named Trump
Who pardoned his friends with a thump
Clemency he would show
To all in his know
In his second term, he did jump

There once was a president whose
Comments were a bit too verbose
His windfall was grand
Since returning to land
In the White House, he struck quite a pose.

There once was a comic so bold
Who spoke of America, so I’m told
He shared his views with glee
In a limerick, you’ll see
His comedy, witty and gold

There once was a billionaire named Heather,
Who made life hard for fun, altogether.
On the 4th of July,
She would make people cry,
Her pleasure brought pain, altogether.