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There once was a guest host on Kimmel
Who gave the president credit, real simple
But it came with a twist
A backhanded diss
The humor was sharp, not so nimble

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who said, “I’m not saying we’re going to crash, but
Historically speaking,
The odds are not in our favor
So let’s hope for some good luck”

There once was a graphic, so wrong,
On “America Reports,” it stayed long.
Fox Business showed it too,
The mistake was no debut,
A limerick to point out the wrong.

There once was a man full of fears
Who attacked the Times journalist with sneers
For years he would fight
With all of his might
But the truth always ends in cheers

There once was a replacement, no complaining,
No need for much training,
Quickly learning the ropes,
Avoiding all the mopes,
A star in the making, no feigning.

There once was a coach named Oswaldo
In a detention center, he’d go
Records show in El Paso
A minor league coach in limbo
Caught in a legal undertow

There once was a ship called Benfold
In the Pacific, its story was told
A breakdown it faced
Left powerless in space
For four days, its journey was on hold.

There once was a woman named Riley,
Who brought firebombs, oh so wily.
She aimed to kill Bessent,
But her plan was unpleasant,
Now in prison for just over six, so slyly.

There once were two comics quite bold
Who challenged a program, we’re told
At the Atlanta airport
Their search methods, a retort
To racial profiling, truth be told

There once was a company named Astra
Paused training on models, causing some extra
The largest run is still on hold
A setback, truth be told
But they’re working hard to fix this disaster