Police Confiscate Robot That Groped 16-Year-Old Girl

There once was a robot from Germany,
Accused of a crime quite flummery,
With a probe in the air,
Authorities did declare,
Investigating the case merrily.

Kimberly Guilfoyle’s Resignation Statement Instantly Flooded With Ridicule: ‘Don’t Let The Door Hit You’

There once was a tweet by Guilfoyle
To gain sympathy was her goal
But luck was not on her side
Her narrative still did not glide
For her efforts just took a toll

‘So Desperate’: JD Vance Bashed For Hurling Homophobic Taunt At James Talarico

There once was a Vice President, Vance,
In 2026 he took a stance.
A critic then said,
“We’ve fallen, how dread!”
Our nation’s in quite a bad trance.

Kamala Harris Reveals The 1 Thing She Did Not Anticipate In Second Trump Term

There once was a veep from D.C.,
Who couldn’t foresee what would be.
Transactional voters she’d find,
Surprised by the change in their mind,
A lesson for her, plain to see.

Saudi OpenAI Engineer Arrested By FBI Over Hidden Recording Device, DOJ Says

OpenAI used AI to trace
The person who planted the base
In an X post they claimed
Their success can be named
A smart move, no time to waste

HBO Announces Return Of Hit Show — A Decade After Its Finale

There once were some ghosts on the track,
Who returned with a vengeance to attack.
They haunted the place,
With a ghostly embrace,
And caused quite a panic and flack.

Bank Of America Fined $1.2 Billion By U.S. Government For Failing To Police Suspicious Activity

There once was a firm named Express,
Hit with fines for anti-money stress,
Three fifty million in the pot,
For laundering they got caught,
Now they’re trying to clean up the mess.

1 Dead, Several Injured After Man Falls From Six Flags Roller Coaster

There once was a man from the ride
Ejected, he took quite a stride
Hit different parts, oh what a plight
Witnesses gasped at the sight
His journey was quite a wild ride

Dan Levy Says He’s ‘Speechless’ Over Shane Gillis’ Misogynist ‘SNL’ Monologue

There once was a man named Gillis,
Whose comments caused quite a fuss.
Comparing his hair to Hitler’s,
And gym attire for women, he’ll stir.
Backlash came swift and severe, thus.

Judge Rips Trump DOJ A New One At Court Hearing: ‘You Did Your Absolute Worst’

There once was a judge named Ana Reyes,
Furious at trees cut for golfing plays.
No proper notification,
Caused much frustration,
For a course built in trees, she dismays.

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