There once was a boy named Colin Gray
Who caused such sorrow one day
Victims’ families in pain
Urged the judge to detain
And ensure he’d face justice, they’d say
A curious way in which you ponder,
What legal advice did he wander?
Goodman on “OutFront” did say,
Asking why they went that way,
Intrigued by the legal squander.
There once was a mummy from Chile,
Whose DNA made scientists smile,
It showed without doubt,
That when Europeans set out,
Smallpox came across the mile.
There once was a couple who dated
For three and a half years, they waited
Then they tied the knot
In a ceremony they fought
Their love never once abated
There once was a host of renown
Who claimed the party was throwing it down
With election so near
They were full of fear
For they fumbled a great chance in town.
There once was a group called the FCC
Who reviewed ABC stations with glee
The Trump administration’s attack
On the press, no turning back
Their actions causing much controversy
There once was a lady named Moreno
Whose ex, Rep. Miller, caused her woe
She asked a judge with some sass
To bar him from her counsel, alas
Now she hopes for peace, not more sorrow
At Gulf Shores Airport one day,
Relics found in a suitcase on display,
X-ray showed a large item,
Opaque and bright, oh what a whim,
Discovered on that July 18th ray.
There once were hedge funds in a bind,
Their biggest drawdown they did find.
AI stocks got routed,
Their profits rerouted,
Leaving investors in a bad mind.
There once was a mayor named Kate
Who planned to make a move so great
She wanted a new police chief in place
After a shootout faced disgrace
Public criticism she couldn’t just negate