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There once was a gal named Sophie
Whose critics she did not agree
“People love to assume,”
She said with a fume
Her political beliefs they did not see

There once was a data analyst from CNN
Who found a trend that was truly beyond ken
He exclaimed with great glee
It’s unbelievable, you see
For the data had stumped even then

A coalition from California led,
Twelve states are suing with dread,
To block a deal so grand,
Worth a hundred and ten billion in hand,
Their legal battle lies ahead.

There once was a council report released,
Saying Smithsonian leaders should be ceased,
They don’t tell history right,
In a way that’s inspiring, unite,
For our great republic, they’ve breached.

There once was a man named Goldstein
Sentenced to prison, oh so unkind
For tax evasion so bold
And mortgage fraud, we’re told
His secrets now all left behind

There once was a dinner so grand,
In the Waldorf Astoria they planned,
With just 700 seats,
In the ballroom, it meets,
A night in a luxurious land.

There once was a legend so bold
Said, “I’ll help the 76ers, I’m told”
To make them a champ
With skills that are vamp
In Philly, success will unfold.

There once was a man named Alan,
Fuming over Trump, he began
To rage and to shout,
Saying, “What’s this about?
Like, dude, what? Go to jail,” he ran.

There once were truckers, you see,
Who came from a faraway country.
20% of drivers, they make,
But licenses, only 5% take,
To transport the goods for a fee.

There once was a VP named Vance,
Whose criticism saw a quick dance,
On Rogan’s show he appeared,
And disapproval neared,
The Washington Post did enhance.