There once was a woman who got shot,
But luckily, she was fine, not distraught.
Her injury was not grave,
She was treated and saved,
And soon was back to the life she sought.
There once was some lettuce from Mexico,
Served by Taco Bell, causing quite a show,
Parasite cyclospora,
Caused diarrhea, no hora,
In five states, the outbreak did grow.
There once was an attorney, so bright
Defending a brother’s rights
“You cannot shoot first
And ask questions later,” he nursed
For justice, he’d put up the fight
There once was a man with no warrants
His record was free of all grants
The police had a look
In their big black book
And found he was clean, no chance for rants
There once was a joke about spray,
Of explosive diarrhea dismay,
On social media it spread,
Causing laughter instead,
About the cyclosporiasis outbreak they say.
There once was a man from the Hill
Who heard Trump’s speech and felt ill
He said, “Republicans freak out,
When Trump starts to shout,
They’re in for a night quite a thrill.”
There once was a man named Kies
Who left with a feeling of unease
He warned of laws being broken
Now he’s left and unspoken
Assistant Treasury Secretary, goodbyes
There once was a Trump aide so bright,
Who thought Trump’s speech was just right,
A Hail Mary play,
To turn out a big array,
Before the midterms, with all his might.
There once was a man named Mullin
Whose threat on social media was quite sullen
People said it was wrong
And didn’t belong
Unconstitutional, they did reckon.
There once were co-hosts quite grand,
Who turned the screening program quite bland.
With one question so sly,
Caused damage nearby,
Their open mic had gotten out of hand.