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There once was a host named “Last Word”
Who gave a monologue quite absurd
On reasons he found
His trust ran aground
For Maine’s Senate candidate preferred

There once was a strategist named Nellis
Who said the GOP lacks its own fellas
He named names in discussion
And caused quite a concussion
By pointing out their lack of good jellas.

There once was a woman of grace,
Denied fair representation in her case,
Supporters did plea,
On social media spree,
For justice to be served in this place.

Former Judge Dugan, without gloom,
Maintained courtroom decorum’s bloom,
She acted not viciously,
But for safety, conspicuously,
To keep order, she ended the gloom.

There once was a president’s team,
Their luck was like a bad dream,
They would always lose,
And sing the blues,
Their losses made the fans scream.

There once was a president, for sure,
Who tried to fix FIFA’s allure,
But his intervention
Caused a big commotion,
Backfiring in ways that were impure.

There once was a man named Brian,
Who always replied with “OK” like a lion,
His responses were brief,
But brought him relief,
As conversations with him were flyin’.

There once was a minister so bold,
Who in Ukraine did firmly hold.
He questioned the IOC,
For changing rules, you see,
In war, nothing changed, or so he told.

There once was a president bold,
Who wanted Greenland’s land to hold.
But Denmark said no,
And the plan had to go,
Leaving the president out in the cold.

There once was a U.S. so bold,
In Disney movies, heroes they’d hold.
But now they’re the villain,
In a film so chillin’,
As “The Daily Show” host has foretold.