‘Can You Imagine?’: Jimmy Kimmel Nearly Loses It Over Latest Trump ‘Fetish’ Allegation

There once was a host of late night
Who studied a moment of fright
In the White House Room
A bizarre, strange gloom
He analyzed it with all his might

Dan Rather Wants Every Future ’60 Minutes’ Episode To Carry 1 Damning Asterisk

There once was a journalist so bold
Whose message was scathing and cold
In every shot and story
He aimed for the glory
And let his opinions unfold.

Jon Stewart Hits The MAGA-Verse With A Damning Prediction About Life After Trump

There once was a host of “Daily Show”
Who said assumptions might not be so
About who’ll inherit
The MAGA merit
Turns out, it’s all just a big show

U.S. Solar Power Outpaces Coal For First Time As Trump Tries To Turn Back The Clock

In May, solar power took the lead,
More electricity it did feed.
Coal’s reign was now done,
The new era had begun,
With clean energy taking the lead.

SoFi Stadium Workers Win ‘Unprecedented’ Right To Strike Over ICE At The World Cup

The stadium workers made a deal,
To avoid a strike, they did appeal.
They kept the right to leave,
If their safety they perceive,
From immigration agents, a seal.

‘Stranger Things’ Star David Harbour Has Surprisingly Calm Reaction To Lily Allen’s Album About Alleged Infidelity

A man told Variety with glee,
“Stories are complex, you see.
I respect her creation,
To channel her sensation,
It wasn’t my experience, just let it be.”

Ex-Obama Staffer Proclaims ‘A Star Is Born’ After Hearing Graham Platner’s Latest Speech

The former Obama staffer told
Ms. NOW’s Jen Psaki “you’re bold”
Seeing a star is born
After hearing the morn
Of the victorious Democrat’s hold.

Critics Run Wild With Trump’s Off-The-Wall ‘I Love The Inflation’ Declaration

There once were ad makers of blue,
Under Trump, they thrived, it’s true.
While other industries suffered,
Their success only buffered,
Democratic ads kept their revenue accruing anew.

Feds Won’t Seek Death Penalty In Plea Deal With Man Accused Of Killing Top Minnesota Democrat

There once was a man named Boelter,
His case was set for a change-of-plea alter,
In a Minneapolis court,
He awaited his report,
Hoping for a verdict that would not falter.

‘A Crock Of S**t’: Grand Jury Transcripts Reveal Juror Skepticism Of Trump DOJ Case Against Protesters

There once were prosecutors, so keen,
Went to lengths, to secure indictments, unseen,
Against protesters, Broadview Six,
Transcripts reveal, their legal tricks,
In the court, their tactics were mean.

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