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There once was a plan so bold
To close student loans, truth be told
A big step they’d take
For the department’s sake
But the future remains untold.

There once was a co-host named Sara,
Who said, “The guys’ll love that,” for a camera.
Goldberg replied, “They do,”
In a voice that was true,
On ‘The View,’ where the drama all gathers.

There once was a woman named Moore
Charged with murder and nothing more
She took pills for abortion
A tragic distortion
Now she faces a legal sore

There once was a host of “Last Word”
Who praised the director, absurd
For defying Trump’s views
Then unleashed her sharp news
In limericks, her thoughts were heard.

A reporter from Stars and Stripes said,
Changes to the paper were widespread.
The Pentagon’s memo was odd,
New content they would laud,
In the newspaper, changes were led.

A more thoughtful appeal might sell
Said the “Daily Show” host, oh so well
Instead of complaining
Try explaining
To the public whose wallets don’t swell

There once was a host, late at night,
Who said, “It makes no sense at all!”
He pondered and pondered, quite lost,
Till finally he said, “What a sight!”
But still, he could not recall.

There once was a sycophant so blatant,
Whose words the president did not want.
But the tables turned fast,
As the sycophant’s past,
Was flipped back by the leader so gallant.

There once was a tale so dear,
Made the day of a resident clear,
“Just what I wanted to hear,”
They said with cheer,
To the local news, they drew near.

There once was a man named Michael
In court, he pleaded guilty and fell
For third-degree rape
He’ll face his fate
In Ascension Parish, where records will tell