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There once was a network, conservative,
Claimed the VP’s goal was not superlative,
Energizing GOP,
Before midterms, you see,
But the news they found was uncreative.

There once was a user named X,
Who noticed an administration hex,
“Renaming stuff is their task,
It’s all they can do, alas,
Incompetence leaves me perplexed.”

A young man named Clavicular
Faced people who came for his dollar
Success made them greedy
Charges left him uneasy
But he fought back to avoid the collar

There once was a Dem from Michigan
Running to be Senate’s first Muslim
An unlikely ally, they did find
In a former Trump confidant, kind
Their partnership now in full swim

There once was a Rep. named Hinson
Whose Iran War stance caused a sin
She switched up her view
While running for a seat, it’s true
But in polls, she’s not likely to win.

There once was a lawyer named Crump,
Whose client’s case felt like a stump.
The grand jury’s report,
Left them feeling out of sorts,
More questions arose with each jump.

There once was a man feeling tight,
The walls closing in, quite a sight,
Desperate was he,
Oh, what could it be?
J. Michael Luttig’s words shed some light.

There once was a host of “Last Word”
Who noted the president’s fixation absurd
A deep-seated “hatred” he did find
For a late figure in his mind
This core obsession he just couldn’t curb

A former Navatek executive
Found D.C.’s spending excessive
“It’s all for sale,”
He said with a wail
In the capital, money is extensive

There once was a boy, twenty-seven,
His struggles were far from heaven,
With addiction and such,
He spoke out so much,
Crawford’s son, in a whirlwind of leaven.