Trump Says He’s Weighing Several ‘Off Ramps’ From Iran Strike: ‘I Can Go Long’

There once was a President Trump
Who said it would take quite a hump
For Iranians to heal
From the attack’s ordeal
Several years, he did presump

CNN Legal Analyst Slams Trump DOJ Over ‘Embarrassing’ Lack Of Epstein Investigations

There once was a man named Honig
Who criticized the DOJ with chagrin
Their lack of action, he said
Was purposeful instead
In an editorial he let his thoughts begin

Los Angeles School Superintendent Placed On Paid Leave Amid Federal Probe

There once was a man named Carvalho,
Became superintendent in twenty two.
He ruled with fair hand,
In the school’s grand stand,
His leadership shining through.

‘Can I Use Any Profanity?’: Morgan Freeman Rips Trump And His Immigration Policies

There once was an actor, so bold,
Unleashed on the president, we’re told,
During an appearance, he went,
On MS NOW, his views he sent,
Promoting his new series, so gold.

Ex-Marvel Star Makes Acting Comeback After Assault Conviction In Ben Shapiro-Produced Film

There once was a man named Jon Majors,
Assaulting his girlfriend, the saviors
Of justice were stern,
But he did not learn,
Avoiding jail time, his behavior.

Red State Residents In Chaos After Lawmakers Yank Their Driver’s Licenses, Birth Certificates

There once were people who’d sigh,
Getting work with no time to comply.
Advocate spoke with a huff,
“What are they to do, strut and bluff?”
Forced to work, no good-bye.

$8 Million Question Threatens FIFA World Cup Matches At Patriots’ Stadium

There once were World Cup matches quite grand,
In Foxborough they were planned.
But security costs made them stall,
Who will cover them all?
The games are now hanging in the balance.

Tampa Airport Clarifies Its Viral Pajama Ban Announcement

There once was an airport so grand
That banned Crocs all over its land
Then they said with a frown
Pajamas won’t go down
Now travelers must stick to their plan.

Bill Clinton Faces Grilling From Lawmakers Over His Connections To Jeffrey Epstein

There once was a president, quite wise,
Behind closed doors he’d advise,
Deposition he gave,
The truth he did pave,
While Hillary sat with lawmakers’ eyes.

Paramount Faces Regulatory Hurdle After Winning Warner Bros Battle

A merger of Paramount and Warner,
Would unite two big studios to garner.
With streaming and news,
Their power will fuse,
In Hollywood, this match will be a charmer.

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