There once were three nations so grand
Denmark, Greenland, and the U.S. hand in hand
They signed an agreement so true
At the UN meeting, they knew
In New York City, where plans were planned
There once was a lawyer named Clancy,
Who wanted to scrutinize fancily,
A lone juror’s cell phone,
And if he had lied prone,
Clancy sought truth quite brashly.
There once was a comedian witty,
Whose videos were really quite pretty,
ABC execs said no,
But she’s determined to go,
And do more with the women, what a ditty!
There once was a merger in sight
But a settlement caused quite a fight
It removed a big hitch
For the media rich
Now the deal is looking just right
There once was a secretary who came,
To criticize Trump’s old campaign,
He took a big swing,
At the promise Trump did bring,
But the outcome for him stayed the same.
There will be no replacement pool
Said the chair in an email so cool
No more TV crews
No more breaking news
Just a void that will never be full.
There once was a human printer,
Who shared a video that did stir,
The president’s ire,
Causing quite a fire,
With consequences that made him bitter.
There once was a man named Paxton
Amid mockery, he knew he’d been laxin’
Deleted his post
That was mocked the most
Now he’s free from the backlashin’
There once was a president bold,
Who called Rove a “loser” we’re told.
He said with a sneer,
“You’re not welcome here,
Your stone-cold ways leave me cold.”
There once was a man named Trump,
Whose pressure was starting to jump,
Pat Boone gave advice,
To be kind, gentle, and nice,
In a heartfelt video dump.