There once was a man named J. Mike,
Who warned of a war that some dislike,
Against democracy, he did contend,
Predicting a catastrophic end,
In January, it could be a spike.
There once was a captain so keen,
Who found a young boy in between,
Clung to the skiff for three days,
In frigid waters, he sways,
Rescued at last, a miraculous scene.
There once was a federal employee
Who flew for just $250, you see
On a commercial flight
Took the price just right
For a journey so carefree and glee
There once was a man named bin Laden,
Who caused quite a stir, truth be trodden,
Documents showed his ways,
And the U.S. in a daze,
For threats to their targets seemed sodden.
There once was a celebrity named Sandy,
Who spoke of her Black kids quite grandly.
This made Kelly seethe,
And she couldn’t believe,
The comments that Sandra did bandy.
There once was a pastor from NC
Who led a prayer with great glee
But his past was quite grim
As a sex offender, quite dim
Twice to prison he went, you see
The U.S. recalls 9/11 with sorrow,
Twenty-five years since that dark morrow.
Nearly 3,000 deceased,
Left the nation increased,
In remembrance, our hearts still do follow.
There once was an incident of hate,
Lawmakers found it disturbing, not great,
They slammed the display,
In a strong disarray,
A clear message: this bigotry we abate.
National Review’s Cooke made a claim,
A “reckless, shapeless, irritable spasm,”
Divorced from our government’s aim,
His words caused a stir and a spasm,
In politics, Cooke sought to reclaim.
There once was a president bold
Whose promise caused quite a scold
To send five grand
If Republicans command
In the midterms, the story still told