There once was an actor so deft,
Who took a swipe at the president with heft,
Fans laughed at his jest,
In pure joy they were blessed,
For the humor they could not outdo.
There once was a boy from Laredo
In a container, they found him, oh no
Six people lay dead
In that dark, cramped shed
Tragedy struck in Mexico
There once was a pill called Mifepristone,
Under fire, it’s always alone,
Attacks from politicians,
In Republican missions,
But its supporters continue to hone.
There once was a gal named Sophie
Whose critics she did not agree
“People love to assume,”
She said with a fume
Her political beliefs they did not see
There once was a data analyst from CNN
Who found a trend that was truly beyond ken
He exclaimed with great glee
It’s unbelievable, you see
For the data had stumped even then
A coalition from California led,
Twelve states are suing with dread,
To block a deal so grand,
Worth a hundred and ten billion in hand,
Their legal battle lies ahead.
There once was a council report released,
Saying Smithsonian leaders should be ceased,
They don’t tell history right,
In a way that’s inspiring, unite,
For our great republic, they’ve breached.
There once was a man named Goldstein
Sentenced to prison, oh so unkind
For tax evasion so bold
And mortgage fraud, we’re told
His secrets now all left behind
There once was a dinner so grand,
In the Waldorf Astoria they planned,
With just 700 seats,
In the ballroom, it meets,
A night in a luxurious land.
There once was a legend so bold
Said, “I’ll help the 76ers, I’m told”
To make them a champ
With skills that are vamp
In Philly, success will unfold.