Homeland Security Chief Markwayne Mullin
Said he was “so happy,” began grinnin’
“Maybe even danced a happy dance,”
In his job he found a true chance,
Protecting the nation, no spinnin’.
There once was a man, the president,
Whose critics were quite vehement.
Their responses were wry,
Or blistering, oh my!
In limericks, their thoughts were sent.
There once was a man quite elected
Who always the unexpected detected
He said with a grin
As he turned to his kin
“We have to expect the unexpected.”
There once were buyers so vexed,
On StubHub, they felt so perplexed.
Tickets they bought,
But sellers did naught,
Their anger on social media texted.
There once was a threat from Trump’s tone,
To obliterate a land all alone,
But in the attic that day,
A discovery held sway,
Mother and brother did find their own zone.
There once was an Oscar winner said,
“I never said there was no fire,” he pled.
“It just wasn’t a forest blaze,
Just a flicker that quickly sways,
A misunderstanding that spread.”
There once was a case of note,
With charges of gambling afloat.
Indictments were laid,
In a legal crusade,
The government’s investigation remote.
There once was a lawyer named Dershowitz,
Who filed a lawsuit without much fuss.
But the high court said no,
To revive the case and let it go,
CNN coverage they did not discuss.
Justice Sotomayor, in dissent,
Slammed the majority’s new event.
Undoing precedent,
She warned of the descent,
“Chaos will follow,” she lamented.
There once was a man with a flair,
For lewd acts that caused quite a scare.
He was charged and brought to court,
For behavior of a lewd sort,
His social media fame stripped bare.