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There once was a man named Gianni
Whose ties to the president were uncanny
FIFA had to investigate
A complaint sealed his fate
Now his actions are under scrutiny

There once was a man named Jacob Coxon,
Who said, “Danger is what I am fixin’.
No activity so wild,
As that which has defiled,
The others, in danger we’re mixin’.”

There once was a trade war so dire,
Banning dairy and booze did transpire,
Some motorcycles, too,
Were bid a fond adieu,
In the U.S., tensions rose higher.

There once was a man quite uninvited,
To an event he was not delighted,
On X they did say,
He should stay far away,
For his presence they were not excited.

There once was a strategist who knew
A theory that caused quite a few
To ponder and pause
About the unknown cause
That was hard for the skeptics to view.

There once was a man named Trump
Who made conservative voters jump
His antics caused quite a stir
They’d rather stay home for sure
The outlet’s board gave a thump

There once was a Full House TV star,
Whose marriage was not up to par.
Both went to prison,
For a college admission mission,
Now their relationship seems very far.

There once was a man named Kehoe,
Who wanted the boundaries to go,
Trump gave his advice,
To redraw in a trice,
For the midterms, they’d gain the show.

There once was a mayor who said,
“People got sick, they were misled.
Leaders they trusted,
Told lies, they busted,
Breathing toxic air, they were led.”

There once was a guardsman named Zion
In a dispute, he drew his gun
Over haircuts, he got quite upset
In Washington, D.C. he did fret
Now he faces trouble, oh what fun