Russell Brand Arrives At Court For Trial On Rape And Sexual Assault Charges

There once was a comic so bold
In court, a trial to unfold
In Southwark he’d stand
For weeks, take a stand
His story soon to be told

Darline Graham, Annie Andrews Spar In South Carolina Senate Debate

There once were two men in debate,
On qualifications, Iran, and AI’s state.
Graham and Andrews clashed,
On topics unhashed,
On Sunday evening so late.

Harry Enten Predicts Exactly How The Midterms Will Play Out

There once was a man named Trump,
Whose actions caused quite a stumped.
CNN’s analyst said,
He’s a key reason dread,
For the chaos he always thumped.

U.S. Judge Orders Halt To Taxpayer-Funded Ads Featuring Trump

There once was an ad campaign launch,
That drew bipartisan backlash, staunch.
The administration’s plan,
Faced criticism from every clan,
The ads left many in a punch.

Republicans Want Abdul El-Sayed To Be The Main Character Of The Midterms. He’s Happy To Oblige

There once was a race in Michigan
For Abdul El-Sayed, it was quite a win
The Senate was his aim
In the political game
Now the Democrats all cheer and grin

Mamdani Condemns Mullin For Treating The Law ‘As A Suggestion’ After ICE Shooting

There once was a mayor from the City
Who criticized Homeland’s pity
For the shooting of Belgal
In the Bronx, a sad tale
His response was not pretty or witty.

4 Dead From Storm As Isaias Brings Threat Of Floods Across The Southeast

There once was a storm post-tropical,
Downgraded but still quite not stoppable,
It weakened with might,
But still posed a fright,
A threat that was almost unstoppable.

Shooting Leaves 9 Dead Including Suspect In Erie, Pennsylvania, Police Say

There once was a Chief named Rick Lorah
In Erie, he upheld the law
A shooting occurred
Details were blurred
The circumstances were deeply eerie

Christa Pike Discharged From Hospital After Surviving Botched Execution, Attorney Says

There once was a state called Tennessee
Whose execution went awry, you see
It brought renewed scrutiny
To their death sentence unity
A failed attempt made all agree

Tech Giant Under Fire After Not Reporting Rogue AI’s False Unsolved Murder Tip For Months: ‘Unacceptable’

There once were unsolved cases so grim,
With victims, families, and cops in a spin.
They worked day and night,
To bring wrongs to light,
But the answers seemed out on a limb.

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