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There once was a president-elect
Whose news alerts caused quite the effect
Joy Reid in despair
Declared with a glare
“He’s designed by the devil to wreck.”

There once was a plan to indict
Over 300 criminals in sight
With histories of crime
They’ll do time, not prime
Under Trump, they’ll face the light

There once was a man named Goldstein
Whose poker wins were quite obscene
Millions he did not declare
Now facing legal scare
For his failure to keep his slate clean

There once was a law, quite a sight,
It banned TikTok with all of its might,
No app stores could spread,
The app – it was said,
To U.S. users, it took flight.

There once was a creature quite rare,
That hid among cold and chilled air,
In the supermarket aisle,
To escape the human guile,
Wildlife rehabbers were left in despair.

There once was a host named Bill,
Accused Bass of fiddling still,
In Ghana she stayed,
While the city decayed,
But the truth is a bitter pill.

As of Friday, officials did say
No word on who’d lead the way
Acting defense secretary’s unclear
The decision drawing near
Soon the new leader will hold sway

There once was a man named Trump
Whose revisionism made people jump
His political career
Was full of fear
A dangerous game, quite the bump

There once was a girl named Tallulah
Whose dad’s clip made her heart full, ha
She shared it with glee
And felt full of glee
Oh, the love that her dad did draw, ahh

There once was a candidate bold
In California his story was told
Riling up moderates
Causing debates
Will his tactics take hold?