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There once was a man named Stockin,
Who abused soldiers, his sin,
At Joint Base Lewis-McChord,
He pleaded guilty, oh Lord,
For crimes that were truly shockin’.

Biologist Joe Wasilewski warned,
“In the 50s, they’re slow, I have learned.
In the 40s, they’re on the brink,
And in the 30s, they’ll sink.
Their fate in the cold is confirmed.”

There once was a fire in L.A.
That forced folks to flee far away
The winds were so high
The flames touched the sky
Evacuated they were without delay

There once was a congressman quite bold,
Under scrutiny, his story was told,
Amid investigation and probe,
He claimed his vision would surely unrobe,
A state’s future in his stronghold.

There once were two folks near Altadena
Escorting their pets through the smoke, I’d say
They emerged from the haze
In a heroic daze
Saving animals in harm’s way.

There once was a Trump son quite bold,
Who visited Greenland, we’re told.
Dad wanted the land,
But didn’t have a plan,
So the son went to see, truth be told.

There once were some fires so severe,
Forced residents to flee in fear.
With strong winds in play,
Officials did say,
Evacuate now, the danger is near.

But prosecutors say Donald Trump’s fate
Is too soon to fully relate
Charging decisions in view
Partially held back, it’s true
Two-volume report will elaborate

There once was a press conference scrambled,
Left the “Late Night” team in shambles,
Host was in a hurry,
Felt quite flurry,
As chaos ensued, they all rambled.

There once was a man named Trump
Who asked the Supreme Court to jump
Into his hush money case
And to try to erase
The sentencing that made him feel stumped.