Jimmy Kimmel Shades Trump From Vacation — Without Even Using His Name

There once was a host in the night,
To the president he took a slight,
Of Epstein’s friendship long past,
It left many aghast,
In the late night, sparks flew with might.

Donald Trump Shares Utterly Unhinged AI Video Of Barack Obama Arrest In Oval Office

There once was a meeting quite tense,
In 2016, at the White House hence,
A chilling turn taken,
As the clip was forsaken,
Shared by the president, immense.

Man Wearing Heavy Chain Dies After Being Dragged Into MRI Scanner

There once was a man with a plan
To test the machine, he began
Its magnetic force
Pulled him off course
And now he’s stuck, poor old man

Trump’s Deportations — And Detentions — Are Incredibly Unpopular

There once was a man with great skill,
But his policies turned quite ill,
Inhumane and aggressive,
Left his supporters regressive,
Now his strength has taken a spill.

‘I’m Partly Excited’: John Oliver Teases What Colbert May Do In Final Months Of Show

Oliver lamented the Late Show’s fate,
Incredibly sad, he couldn’t abate.
But wondered with dread,
What chaos lay ahead,
As Colbert made his exit straight.

SkyWest Plane Does ‘Aggressive Maneuver’ To Avoid Midair Collision With B-52, Pilot Says

There once was a pilot who said
“This is not normal,” he dread
The plane started to shake
But he managed to make
A landing safe, no one was dead.

New Trial Ordered In 1979 Etan Patz Murder After Man’s Conviction Tossed

There once was a case quite insane
A child gone missing, causing great pain
But the court had its say
And the guilty verdict, they took away
Leaving the truth to ascertain

New CEO Addresses Coldplay Affair Scandal To Astronomer Employees, Customers

There once was a co-founder, so bold,
Who took on the interim role,
When the company’s fame
Was a viral flame,
Last week, the news took its toll.

Trump Administration Released FBI Records On MLK Jr. Despite His Family’s Opposition

When Trump took office in January,
He aimed to declassify right away,
Records tied to King,
And those Kennedys, bling,
Transparency was his forte, hurray!

White House Removes WSJ From Scotland Press Pool Over Epstein Article

There once was a journal that lied,
White House said their conduct defied,
Fake news they spread,
They should be dread,
For their reputation has now died.

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