There once was a president who basked
In news, suggested Kimmel be tasked
With losing his late night show
The idea made many say “Oh!”
But Kimmel’s staying put, unmasked.
In L.A. a loud boom did resound,
At Biscailuz, the training ground,
A blast at 7:30,
No one’s really quite flirty,
Spokesperson Nishida expound.
There once was a woman named Stewart
Paddleboarding, her skills were the surest
Police seek information
From those in the nation
Who saw her on Crawford Pond, the purest
There once was a boy, Miller by name,
Who thought torture was part of life’s game.
In high school he’d say,
In a dubious way,
It’s a celebration, to his great shame.
There once was a man who defended
His dad, but his efforts soon ended
In flames, his plan thwarted
His defense uncharted
A limerick for dad now amended
There once was a host named Ingraham
Promised news to cover, with aplomb
But when break time was through
She changed her tune, it’s true
Leaving viewers feeling scammed and calm.
There once was a group of eleven,
Injured, all sent to heaven,
Seven to the hospital went,
Their injuries they lament,
Hoping for a swift recovery, amen.
There once were two senators bold,
Who bucked ranks and broke from the fold,
They voted with Dems,
To the bill’s bitter ends,
Their party was surely not sold.
From a devastating “brain drain” to tanking morale,
Things don’t look good, said Dr. Francis Collins’ tale.
Scientists leaving in droves,
Hope dwindles, no one knows,
A bleak future, they fear, they’ll set sail.
There once was a governor from CA
Who roasted the Prez without delay
With two posts on the net
He got his message set
And left the White House in dismay