There once was a man named Chestnut,
In hot-dog eating, he was a glutton.
At Nathan’s Fourth of July,
He won, no need to ask why,
Joey “Jaws” reclaims his title, buttoned.
There once was a flood in Texas,
Multiple deaths caused great distress.
The river overflowed,
Many lives it did corrode,
Leaving sorrow and sadness to address.
There once was a Georgia Republican
Who tried to score points with her clan,
But factual accuracy
Got in the way, you see,
And her plan did not go as she planned.
There once was a doc named Neha Gupta
Who staged her daughter’s death in South Florida
At a rented vacation home
She deceived with aplomb
But justice soon caught up, no ne’er a tauta.
Seven people unaccounted for, they dread,
Explosions ravaged the facility, they said.
Search goes on with hope in the air,
Praying they’ll find them safe and fair,
Their loved ones in anguish and dread.
There once was a student quite clever,
Who made her professor quite angry, however.
Dr. Ramsland was shocked,
At the way her pupil talked,
In disappointment she did not waver.
There once was a president who contorted
The portrait of him that was reported
He claimed it was fake
A distorted mistake
But the truth was soon fully sorted
There once was a president sly,
Who dodged his policies awry,
A tactic so old,
To avoid being told,
His flaws he’d never deny.
There once were three stars with some views,
On the verdict, they all had their clues,
50 Cent and O’Day,
Rosie O’Donnell would say,
Their opinions, they just had to choose.
A man named Abrego Garcia,
Said he was beaten, kicked, subject to,
Abuse in a prison so grand,
After being deported, unplanned,
To a Salvadoran megaprison new.