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There once was a man named Lehrer
Whose friend David Herder was dear
He passed away in his place
In Cambridge, with grace
In Massachusetts, we shed many a tear

There once was a man making claims,
As Palestinians died from harsh pains.
Global experts foresee,
Famine soon, tragically,
In the region, a crisis remains.

Passengers slid down with great haste,
From the smoking plane they faced,
Emergency slide deployed,
As the situation was enjoyed,
American Airlines jet left in waste.

There once was a president quite bold,
Critics tore into him, truth be told.
With an unexpected digression,
Against a familiar obsession,
Their harsh words left him feeling cold.

There once was a correspondent, so bold,
Who exposed a CNN commentator’s goal,
On the “Daily Show” with great flair,
The truth he did declare,
And left the audience in awe as the story he told.

There once was a divide thought to cease
But it only grew during a recess
In August it festered
And tensions were tested
Leaving hope for unity in peace

A judge ruled in favor of Planned Parenthood,
Medicaid funds they shall still receive, just as good.
Many clinics nationwide,
Can now breathe a sigh,
Knowing their services are still understood.

Passengers and pilot both shocked,
As agents the cockpit unlocked,
Stunned they were to see,
Intruders, not free,
Their surprise could not be mocked.

There once was a man with a gun,
At the Grand Sierra Resort, he was on the run.
But the police took him down,
He was no longer a threat in town,
Now the danger has been overcome.

There once was a coach from Colorado
With cancer, he put on a brave show
His oncologist said
That the cancer had fled
Now he’s cured and ready to go