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Many were confused, it’s true
Over the condition, they knew
They were almost set free
But what would it be?
A puzzling situation to construe

There’s one thing Americans agree on,
Said the host of “The Tonight Show” at dawn,
It’s the laughter and fun,
When the day is done,
That brings us together at dawn.

Utah Police arrested folks by mistake,
Two people were taken, no stake,
In the shooting at all,
No ties to the brawl,
Innocent, a simple fluke they did make.

There once was a man in DC,
Who said the city was deeply troubled, you see.
He sent in the Guard,
And law enforcement, oh so hard,
To fix it, just like he did, a decree.

There once was a man named Kirk
Whose killer was on the FBI’s work
With a reward of one hundred grand
For the one who’d lend a hand
To catch the criminal lurking and murk.

There once were two students, so brave,
At Evergreen High School they faced a knave,
The shooter took aim,
And caused them great pain,
Then himself, in the end, met his grave.

There once was a man with great woes,
Just one video and a couple of photos,
He wanted much more,
For his online store,
But all he could find were some old clothes.

There once was a school in Maryland,
Naval Academy, on lockdown they banned,
Threats to the school,
Officials to rule,
Law enforcement on hand, they had planned.

There once was a man named Dubke
Who said Trump made a big mistake
He should have used the powers
Of the Oval Office for hours
But instead, he caused a shake.

There once was a Rep named Onder
Critics said his views were a squander
Projection they claimed
On the House floor he aimed
His arguments left them all fonder.