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There’s a host named Jesse Watters,
Said, “They’re at war with us, it matters!”
What will we do?
His question is true,
As tensions grow louder and fatter.

A host on “Late Night” did scold
The president for letting beans unfold
In a moment so awkward
On Fox News, he gawked
The host’s humor was bold and bold

There once was a president’s plan
To help the country take a stand
The newspaper’s board
Said “rise above the discord”
In hopes of a peaceful new brand.

There once was a host who would race,
To point out a key factor with grace.
In a limerick he’d say,
About the case that day,
With wit and a smile on his face.

There once was a Late Show host so bold,
Who from his desk the news did unfold,
Of a conservative activist’s fate,
In Utah, a tragic debate,
His limerick the tragedy foretold.

There once was a host on MSNBC
Who saw Trump admit candidly
To the victims of crime
From the sex offender’s time
A shocking and frank guarantee

There once was a Tesla mogul so grand,
With only $385 billion in hand.
His fortune did dip,
But still, he won’t flip,
For riches still flow in the land.

There once was a shooting so scary,
At Utah Valley University, quite contrary.
The students all ran,
To escape the gunman’s plan,
Thankfully, no one was buried.

There once was a man named Mark David,
Who killed a Beatle, oh so sordid,
Denied parole again,
For causing such pain,
In prison, his fate is recorded.

There once was a man named McNeil,
Whose attorneys had quite the ordeal,
They claimed racial profiling’s a norm,
In Jacksonville, officers perform,
Using force with no fear, it’s unreal.