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There once was a president bold
Said he might run for office yet untold
But the Constitution’s ban
Will thwart his grand plan
And his dream may forever be strolled.

There once was a Late Show host so sly,
Who questioned “Why did the president try,
To get an MRI?
What’s the reason?” asked he,
Inquiring minds want to know, oh my!

There once were some monkeys quite bold
On the side of the road, we are told
They crawled through the grass
With crates as they passed
Near Heidelberg, their story is sold.

There once was a house painted white,
Its decorations gave quite a fright.
Social media was abuzz,
With shivers and fuzz,
From the spooky display in the night.

A remark quick as a wink it flew,
Said Taylor, a signal quite true,
To the president’s friends,
The message he sends,
Blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, in view.

There once was a late night host,
Who warned about avoiding to boast,
Said it’s all about grace,
And keeping things in place,
To prevent another issue’s accost.

There once was a girl named Trump’s granddaughter
Ranked 461, she swung her club harder
In the LPGA she’ll play
Against pros, come what may
In a field that’s incredibly stronger

There once was a man named Mark Thompson
An Englishman with a plan to outgun
He paid Scott Jennings to lie
About Trump, oh so sly
Lawrence O’Donnell’s words, a limerick stun

There once was a man named Barry Black,
Who prayed to end the shutdown’s attack.
With urgency in his words,
He hoped to be heard,
And bring an end to this political wrack.

There once was a man named Kenvue,
Who defended Tylenol, it’s true.
Paxton sued with great might,
But Kenvue would fight,
In a legal showdown they drew.