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There once was a man named Cottingham
Claimed 100 murders, the scoundrel done
Authorities found
Only linked him to a dozen, around
In the 60s, his killing spree begun

There once was a house that was white,
With a mascot to show off its might,
It leaned into the new,
And the people all knew,
That it was a symbol of pure delight.

There once was an anchor from MS NOW,
Who compared Trump’s fan to a cow.
He called him a pet,
But Trump hasn’t met,
A devotee with such a loud WOW!

On the fifth year since Capitol attack,
Tillis urged to speak truth, no backtrack.
“We must speak truth to power,”
He declared in his hour,
Let’s ensure democracy won’t crack.

There once was a show that was bleak,
Kimmel’s decision made him unique,
His late-night colleague,
Still continued to dialogue,
Four times a week, the future looked sleek.

There once was a man named Chieng,
Who mocked the House Speaker with zing,
He found it quite funny,
His humor was sunny,
About the deadly U.S. raid in Venezuela.

There once was a double agent quite bold,
Who admitted, with stories untold,
To taking home two point five mill,
From the Russians, for quite a thrill,
Now his secrets are out in the cold.

There once was a rioter named Jake,
Who thought the election was fake.
He showed his disdain,
For the “fraud” president’s reign,
On social media, no mistake.

There once was a woman named Machado,
Who on Fox News did confide and show,
That if she believed he deserved it in October,
Imagine now how things would be sober,
Her words did in truth truly flow.

There once was a congresswoman bold,
Who decried foreign intervention, we’re told.
She scorned “globalist” ways,
And the war-driven craze.
Regime change, she said, was just cold.