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Internet sleuths tried to link with such glamor,
Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore in a clamor,
Meghan Trainor too,
All in a hullabaloo,
But the truth was just a bit of grammar.

On the fifth of January, we lack
An official event to track
The Capitol’s attack
No memorial plaque
For that dark day we can’t take it back.

There is no scientific evidence supporting
The change in recommendations, resorting
To what experts have said
But some do it instead
Causing confusion and lots of reporting

There once was a staffer, so deft,
His partner did nothing, that’s left.
No work during her time,
A scandalous crime,
The boss now must handle the heft.

There once was a man named Trump
Whose threats against nations did stump
Caught on camera by Collins
In clips that were appalling
His actions caused quite a big lump

There once was a man named Valente
Found dead in a storage facility
A former Brown student, so they say
In New Hampshire he passed away
The tragic end of Claudio Neves Valente

There once was a deputy chief
Whose frustration caused quite a beef
Questions on Venezuela’s fate
Made him irate
As the ousting of leaders brought grief

There once was a senator from Arizona
Whose words for Hegseth caused a furore
He blasted the Defense Secretary
For a move he deemed quite contrary
Unacceptable, he declared with a roar.

There once was a host on Late Night
Who called out the president’s plight
He said, with a frown
“I’m against wars, I’ll go down”
But his actions just didn’t seem right.

There once was a host of Late Show,
Who joked he’d go out on top, you know.
If he lived in the president’s bod,
He’d be quite the skilled demigod,
But as himself, he’s funny, not so.