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There once was a doc named Pete Attia
Whose career took a turn for the dia
Sucking up to a con
Now his job is all gone
At CBS he’s no longer a fria.

There once was a man named James Heaps
Who abused his patients while they were asleep
He was sentenced to time
For his heinous crime
Now behind bars he silently weeps

There once were Haitians who came
To the U.S. for work without shame
Their protections were due to expire
Leaving them in a situation dire
A deadline brought worry and blame

There once was a man named Trump,
Who wanted to give the Kennedy Center a thump.
He planned for construction,
Causing quite the disruption,
For two years it would be a big lump.

There once was a nurse who did shout,
“Federal agents’ claim is a laughable rout.
If there’s something to laugh,
It’s a pointless gaffe,
Their claim is full of hot air, no doubt.”

There once was a protest quite bold,
That really did start to take hold.
It got under their skin,
Causing quite the din,
As the message was powerfully told.

There once was a president bold,
Who closed Kennedy Center, we’re told.
For two years it’ll be dark,
Like a disappearing lark,
As the arts take a hit in the cold.

There once was a pugilist quite bold,
Whose words were often callous and cold.
With racist slurs and hate,
In the headlines he’d create,
But his career eventually fold.

There once was a president who, in wrath,
To Trevor Noah he lashed out, on his path.
At the Grammy Awards show,
The comedian’s jokes, oh no!
A feud between the two, aftermath.

There once was a critic who whined,
About how their groceries were maligned.
But with glee in their eyes,
They exclaimed with surprise,
“It’s cheaper now!” as they dined.