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There once was a landlord named Konan,
Whose mail was withheld by a conman.
The justices declared,
With a vote that was squared,
Against Konan, the legal plan.

There once was a mayor named Kristin,
Whose ouster caused quite a bit of gristin’.
She sued the whole city,
For being so gritty,
In a plot to tarnish her listenin’.

There once was a suspect so sly
Who climbed out of a bin on the fly
As the officer gave chase
His shoes lost their place
In the chase, they bid goodbye

There once was a landlord named Konan,
Whose mail was withheld by a conman.
The justices declared,
With a vote that was squared,
Against Konan, the legal plan.

The Short family in sorrow and pain,
Asks for privacy, their loss to contain.
Their hearts are quite broken,
Their words left unspoken,
In grief, they quietly remain.

There once was a man named Trump,
Who tried to make UCLA’s funding jump,
But his efforts did fail,
And the plan was unveiled,
Leaving him feeling like a grump.

There once was a man named Robert
Arrested for a crime they did uncover
He pleaded not guilty
To a charge quite filthy
For receiving child porn, he did suffer

In an emotional plea so bold,
She says “If this is what’s to unfold,
We’ll accept it, but please
Tell us where she might be,
Bring her home, let the truth be told.”

There once was a Fox News host of dread,
Who feared a U.S. president who “struggles to read.”
His terror was clear,
For all to hear,
As he faced a future with dread.

There once was a man named Trump,
Who feared his own party would jump,
His big event in January,
Would overshadow his vanity,
So he announced it with a loud thump.