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There once was a military troupe
Whose vessels were under a loop
No drugs were in sight
Their records were right
No evidence made them regroup

There once was a president bold
Who shared a tale thrillingly told
‘Bout an attempt on his life
In the midst of the strife
On “60 Minutes” the story was sold.

The president wants to change the name
Of ICE so the media’s game
Would have to say something much nicer
For the agency’s new adviser
But the public might not feel the same.

There once was a governing body,
Discussing with nations so jolly,
To boost the funding,
For athletes astounding,
Their efforts unsung and so godly.

There once was a reporter named Hylton
Who recalled what the president was doing
“Just weeks ago,” she said
With a shake of her head
In a limerick, her story is brewing

There once was a man who did fire,
At the White House, filled with desire.
He sent writings with glee,
To family, referred to as he,
A “Friendly Federal Assassin” for hire.

There once was a UFC boss so able,
Who watched the response at Trump’s table,
He took in every minute,
Of the shooting’s grim visit,
While seated, his gaze was unstable.

There once was a runner named Sabastian
Who broke the marathon test, a sensation
In Kenya he ran
To history he began
Breaking the 2-hour barrier, pure elation

There was chaos at the dinner
Thuds heard, causing quite a stir
Something had gone wrong
At 8:35, not long
Mystery at the White House, winner

There once was an agent so brave,
Shot at the White House, his life to save,
Questions arise about protection,
In times of political infection,
Will safety for leaders be wave?