That Guy Who Kept Eating After Shots Were Fired During WHCD Explains Himself

There once was a man named Glantz,
Who didn’t believe in taking a chance,
When shots were fired near,
He didn’t show any fear,
He stood tall and didn’t duck and prance.

OOPS! Royal Welcome For King Charles Goes A Little Awry With Flag Mix-Up

There once was a monarch so fair,
Whose trip was quite a grand affair.
To mend the special bond,
That had gone beyond,
With the U.S. in disrepair.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Triggers MAGA With ‘Kind, Responsible’ Post About Trump And WHCD Shooting

There once was a Dem from New York,
Who tried to calm the online cork.
But the storm of replies,
Quickly grew to large size,
And turned his efforts to talk into squawk.

White House Reportedly Considering New Public Safety Gear For Trump After WHCD Shooting

There’s talk at high levels, they say,
Fox News’ Doocy reports each day.
Discussions are had,
By folks who are glad,
To share what they know, come what may.

John Oliver Says It Shouldn’t Be Hard For A ‘F**king Chatbot’ To Do This

There once was a host quite astute,
Who spoke about AI chatbots’ repute,
He gave a blunt reminder,
Of what they’re not, a kinder,
Explanation of their true root.

Trump Oddly Points Out Curious Trait Of Law Enforcement Agents In WHCD Shooting

There once was a president bold
Whose words on “60 Minutes” were told
To Norah O’Donnell he spoke
His observation bespoke
A story that many will hold.

Pope Leo Issues Damning Description Of Those Who Wage War

There once was a pontiff who said,
“Nuclear power must be put to bed.”
On Chornobyl’s sad day,
He warned of the fray,
In hopes that disaster be fled.

My Father Was Deported Over 30 Years Ago For Delivering Newspapers. I Know How Much Due Process Matters.

In our living room, justice did flee,
A system swift, conscience set free,
No fairness in sight,
Just darkness and plight,
Injustice prevailed, so cruelly.

‘I Was Totally Exonerated’: Trump Snaps At CBS Reporter Over Reading Of Suspected Shooter’s Alleged Manifesto

There once was a president with might,
To read his words on TV, he’d fight.
He took issue with the show,
And made his displeasure known,
“60 Minutes” sure caused a fright.

What Happened Inside The Ballroom When A Gunman Tried To Breach Trump’s Night With The Press

There once were agents who stormed the stage,
Enforcing law, they would not disengage.
Guard and police, all in a rage,
Surrounded the hotel, a locked cage.
To keep the peace, their mission engaged.

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