There once was an “Outfront” anchor,
Whose words were quite a ranker,
“It’s stunning,” he’d say,
In his own special way,
A news pro, a true news flanker.
There once was a rock star who said,
Colbert lost his show, it’s been said,
For the pettiest reason,
Involving the season,
And a President’s actions mislead.
There once was a CNN data chief
Whose words caused quite a belief
Trump’s move in a week
Put a key race to tweak
Republicans now face disbelief
The “Late Show” audience erupted with glee,
As Colbert’s zinger hit mirthful spree.
With a chuckle and grin,
He threw his head back in spin,
And the laughter rang loud as can be.
There once was a senator named John,
Who called out some “asshats” til dawn,
His words soon backfired,
And the people inquired,
If his temper had finally gone.
There once was a deputy chief,
Whose self-esteem caused him grief,
Tied to the president’s name,
And his TV fame,
His confidence was beyond belief.
There once was a man named Fitzpatrick,
Whose fiancée had news quite dramatic,
He told the president grim,
About a fund that’s not so trim,
Oh, the scandal, how problematic!
There once was a man in dismay
ICE arrested him one day
His lawyers did claim
It was all just a game
Their contempt for the law on display
There once was a doc that did shine,
Made $7 mil, a good sign.
But the cost was quite high,
$75 mil, oh my!
Still, it’s a film quite divine.
There once was a farmer named Mike,
In Kansas, where the sun was so bright,
“If we don’t get the rain,
It’ll be hard to sustain,”
He sighed, feeling worry and strife.