Thousands Ordered To Evacuate As Southern California Wildfire Threatens Homes

There once was a blaze in the hills,
Above Simi Valley, it chills.
Thirty miles to the west,
Investigation’s the best,
To uncover the cause of the thrills.

‘How The F**k Is This Guy Our President?’: Jon Stewart Stunned By Bonkers Trump Moment

There once was a host of a show
Who roasted the president’s strange flow
He turned it to lessons
For grads, gave suggestions
On Xi Jinping’s actions, they know.

‘Betrayed’: Diehard Donald Trump Supporter Breaks Down Her Fears In Emotional Radio Call

There once was a man who said
He’s the best thing for America’s head
But now feeling sad
And betrayed, feeling bad
His promises seemed to have misled

Even Scott Jennings Is ‘A Little Uncomfortable’ With This New Donald Trump Deal

There once was a Trump supporter from CNN
Who drew a strict line now and then
He cheered for the man
With a big orange tan
But his bias was clear to all men

Anderson Cooper Exits ‘60 Minutes’ For Personal Reasons Amid CBS Shake-Ups

There once was a host from CBS
Who bid farewell after two decades, no less
With a smile and a tear
He made it clear
His time on the show was a success

Mark Fuhrman, Ex-LA Police Detective Convicted Of Lying During OJ Simpson Murder Trial, Has Died

There once was a cop named Mark Fuhrman,
Convicted for lying, such a charmin’,
At the OJ trial,
His deceit was vile,
Now he’s passed on, with no alarmin’.

Oops! Someone Forgot To Tell Jeanine Pirro About Trump’s $1.8B J6 Slush Fund

There once was a Fox News host so sly,
Who whispered to his friend on the sly,
“What weaponization?”
In a quiet conversation,
They discussed the truth with a sigh.

JD Vance Says He’s Ready To Tackle This ‘Problem.’ Critics Tell Him To Look In The Mirror.

There once was a veep who was wise,
Used jujitsu in his guise,
With fighting words clipped,
Narrative flipped,
Accusations caused quite the surprise.

Judge Rules Partly In Favor Of Luigi Mangione At Key Pretrial Hearing

There once was a man named Brian
Whose murder brought anguish and cryin’
A handgun was found
And a notebook unbound
For justice, these will be relied on.

Adult Dies Of Hantavirus In Colorado, State Health Officials Say

There once was a ship in the Atlantic,
Where hantavirus caused a panic,
But the strain on the boat,
Was not the same note,
As the outbreak that made everyone frantic.

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