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There once was a man named Glossip
Awaiting a retrial, oh what a risk
For a 1997 killing
That had him near chilling
Three times on the brink of the abyss

There once was a congresswoman bold,
Whose words were scathing and cold.
When a MAGA influencer spoke,
Calling her “worse than a dog” as a joke,
She let her sharp criticism unfold.

There once was a host named Jon,
Who praised his buddy, a ton,
Mocking Bari Weiss,
And her news division, without cease,
On late night TV, all in fun.

There once was a Secretary so sly,
Who had to sell ideas with a bad AI,
On social media it was noted,
The commercials were wrongly coded,
But the President’s plans still did fly.

There once was a host with a doubt,
That Trump would just walk away, no clout,
On “The Daily Show” he’d attest,
The effort from Trump was a test,
For the presidency, Trump’s not about.

There once was a man named Patel,
Whose snorkeling trip didn’t end well,
The FBI didn’t disclose,
His Hawaiian repose,
Two days he did dwell, what a trail!

There once was a host filled with flair
But critics dismissed without a care
Segment on privacy concerns abroad
Switched to fears of surveillance, oh lord
In the States, it’s a worry we all share

There once was a case of great fame,
Weinstein did not take the blame.
The jury heard all,
For weeks they did stall,
But his words were never the same.

A legend in music decried
The divide that Trump has supplied
The political fights
Keep him up many nights
A rift that cannot be denied.

Going to movies is no longer the same,
Just a couple of times I’ll play the game.
Concession stand snacks, I’ll abstain,
No more will I let them drain,
My wallet, it’s no longer the same.