There once was a judge named Gorsuch,
Who claimed we’re not from the same church,
He said it’s just not true,
Our beliefs are askew,
Our origins he tried to disavouch.
There once was a journalist from NBC,
Who believed Nancy Guthrie’s abductors, you see,
Had tried to do things right,
But kept details out of sight,
Leaving the truth a mystery.
Most Americans are unsure of Trump’s goals,
The survey revealed deep in the polls.
His policies unclear,
Leaves the nation in fear,
As uncertainty constantly rolls.
A group of marmot researchers
Is trying a new way to raise
Funding for their work, it’s no craze
Their plan is arousing
Lots of attention, quite amazing
There once was a man named Pinder,
Arrested for hazing, what a hinder,
With two others in tow,
They gave brutal blows,
Now in jail they must all surrender.
There once was a student of crime,
Who pleaded guilty in time,
To spare his own life,
From death’s cruel strife,
A deal he made to avoid the grime.
There once were two suspects who’d compete,
Shooting bullets to meet and to greet,
Investigators did say,
They were aiming to play,
But ended up facing defeat.
There once was a host on TV,
Who explained the president’s decree,
He went from calling it a scam,
To supporting the crypto jam,
A 180 turn for all to see.
There once was a trans TikTok star,
Backlash from right-wing was far,
Turning the president’s critique,
With humor unique,
In 2023, she raised the bar.
There once was a sharpshooter named Ana,
Who with crossbow skills caused quite the drama.
She hit her poor mate,
In a terrible fate,
Now they both need a new kind of karma.