Trump Goes Off-Script During Lindsey Graham Eulogy: ‘He Was A Tough Cookie’

There once was a president bold
Who stopped the mourners to be told
Of Graham’s likability
On each side of civility
A claim that he had to uphold

The U.S. Says It Thwarted An Iranian Missile Attack That Ended A Brief Pause In Fighting

Iran launched missiles one day,
At American forces, they say,
In the Middle East clash,
With a deafening crash,
Negotiations now in disarray.

Deadline Passes For Trump To Ask Supreme Court To Reconsider Birthright Citizenship Ruling

There once was a man named Trump,
Who felt his case was a dump,
Supreme Court gave a loss,
But he didn’t toss,
He vowed for a rehearing, not a slump.

Elon Musk Company Sues Minnesota Over Law Banning Use Of AI To Create Nude Deepfakes

There once was a man named Keith,
Who decried the use of AI beneath,
Generating nude images with skill,
Against people’s will,
A practice he deemed a foul breach.

Rock Icon Invites White House Jab By Blasting This ‘Stupid F**king’ Trump Idea

There once was a thing with a name,
They changed it, but it’s all the same,
I’m not buying the lie,
My thoughts will not comply,
The new name won’t bring me fame.

Federal Court Blocks Minnesota’s First-In-The-Nation Law Banning Prediction Markets

There once was a law quite severe
On prediction markets, it’s clear
Creating or aiding
Was now a crime braid
No activities connected, we fear

Teen Gets Life In Prison Without Parole For Killing 4 At Georgia’s Apalachee High School

There once was a lad named Colt Gray,
Charged as an adult one day.
At fourteen years old,
The story was told,
In court he would have to stay.

New York School Pauses Plan To Deploy Humanlike AI Robot Teacher After Backlash

There once were some teachers, you see,
Who disapproved of sex dolls with glee.
Though the company was sister,
Officials insisted they’d missed her,
For Realbotix acts independently.

Homeland Security Official Rips Trump’s ‘War On Immigrants’ In Resignation Announcement

There once was a man named Marc Rosenblum
Thrilled to end ties with the government glum
He bid farewell with glee
To the current decree
A fresh start with hope has now come

Georgia High School Shooter Discussed Online Notoriety With Mother Afterwards

There once was a teen so grim,
Killed two students and teachers on a whim,
His mother, in sorrow,
Promised a shrine to follow,
A tragic tale at Apalachee High School, so dim.

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