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There once was a president so proud,
Claimed he was No. 1, quite loud,
But on the platform,
He’s not the norm,
Far from the most-followed crowd.

There once was a man named Trump,
Whose speeches caused quite a thump,
TV networks unsure,
If they should endure,
Air time for his usual pomp.

There once was a reporter named Lydia
Who told Charles Blow, “Don’t get hyper
You’re trying too hard
To create a social media bard
Just focus on the facts, don’t be a trier.”

The selloff is an ominous sign
More shares will flood, that’s the design
Investors beware
Move with utmost care
Or risk seeing your portfolio decline

There once was an intruder in town,
NYPD brought him down,
No one was hurt,
The case was avert,
In New York, justice is renowned.

There once was a SecWar so keen,
But his focus was rather obscene,
“Low-T” over discipline,
Many found it a sin,
On X, their disapproval was seen.

There once was a president who spake,
Claiming “fake” on the news, a mistake.
But the truth was revealed,
His claims were unsealed,
And his trustworthiness began to break.

There once was a prosecutor in Seattle
Whose appointment caused quite a big battle
Trump fired him fast
Not a moment to last
Unanimous choice left in a rattle

There once was an old rock star so sly,
Who asked, with a laugh and a sigh,
“Why did I take John’s advice?”
Now he’s paying the price,
At 82, he’s still feeling spry.

There once was a Fox News host so bold,
Who claimed votes for Republicans were sold,
For Democrat policy to stay,
And not enough deportations to sway,
In frustration, his grievances he told.