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There once was a host on MS NOW
Who spoke of a ruling, oh wow
About Trump’s power unchecked
In a monologue she wrecked
The Supreme Court, the topic did plow.

There once was a court ruling so bold,
Barring trans girls from sports, we’re told.
In a vote six to three,
They upheld it, you see,
Their decision was staunch and cold.

There once was a man named Trump
Who thought Birthright Citizenship was a hump
But the Supreme Court said
It’s a law that won’t be dead
So Congress must now take the jump

There once was a woman named Kelly
Who thought liberals were rather wiggly
She said with a smirk
Like watching a quirk
But to her, they were simply too jiggly

There once was a founder named Dave
MAGA-voting, he loved to behave
Said, “folks in NYC like me,
I’ve had a real job, you see,”
Barstool Sports is the path that he paved.

There once was a speaker so sly
Asked, “Oh dear, what’d they rule?” with a sigh
Letting out a groan
And eyes that have shown
His frustration as time passed him by.

There once was a judge named LaPlante,
Who ruled on a voter list mandate.
He said it did not follow
The Civil Rights Act hollow,
And the request he did not validate.

There once were remains found in a city,
Police work to solve this great mystery.
Medical examiners will state
What caused this poor person’s fate,
In the end, we hope for clarity.

There once was a Fox News host so bold,
Asked of Kennedy and a story of old,
About a raccoon’s dead hide,
In a book it was spied,
A tale that left many quite cold.

There once was a baby so small
Found in a toilet, saddest of all
At Electric Forest was found
Police investigating around
A tragic event, causing a pall.